A-Holes

When visiting MLB's site earlier today, their main feature photo caught my attention. It was Mike Piazza in an Oakland A's uniform, looking especially scruffy. It was a stark contrast to the picture I had of him in my head: clean-cut and donning a spiffy white Padres uniform. Thinking about it for a few moments, I realized the A's are the unsung bums of west-coast baseball. Boston tends to get all of the glory for fielding a team of long-haired, five-o-clock-shadowed, shit-stained-helmeted idiots. But this whole time, there's been an oft-overlooked team of nearly equally dirty bums nestled right in the butthole of San Francisco: Oakland!

Mike Piazza

Mike has shifted between the bearded and clean shaven look throughout his career. Yet when he hung it up with the Mets and booked it to San Diego, it looked like he was taking on the respectable, short-haired look for good. Think again, bat-man.

Barry Zito

It's nearly impossible to find a photo of this guy without long hair or some peach fuzz, but that's only because he's been with the giants for all of about five minutes.

Jason Giambi

It's taken some getting used to but now all I picture when I think of the Giambino is a chubby-faced deodorant spokesperson. He used to be one scary, hairy mo-fo. He prolly stunk too.

Johnny Damon

Seriously.